Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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