woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
