all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
