Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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