Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize