Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
