He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
try to milk me bitch
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