I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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