Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize