Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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