definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
