I think my vagina is haunted
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
