Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
