weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
