when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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