ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
