The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
