Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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