I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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