Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
