is your mom at the bar?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
