We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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