It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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