just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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