I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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