If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
