I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
