college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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