You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
