I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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