Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
