So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
