Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
