Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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