I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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