I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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