I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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