oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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