They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
In America we eat man semen.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
