i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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