Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
