Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
