Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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