i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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