I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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