it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
