Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
