My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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