He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
