You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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