I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My liver just had a heart attack.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
