I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
