last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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