you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Success! We fucked roommates!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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