Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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