Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
