I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
