i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
