Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize