Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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