I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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