I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
