I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
