i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
